We made it.
Well, today is the day. It was not easy but we made it.
I was still not sure about it a month ago, but I finally decided. I realize that she is not the best girl in the world, but I am now confident that she is made for me and I am made for her. Now, I have identified her weaknesses and her qualities. Some of her shortcomings are that she can change and some I will have to live with. I can predict where she gets hurt and where she cries. I can tell what makes her jump. I even understand that some things I like to do will piss her off and some things that she can’t stop doing will drive me crazy. But look, here we are on our wedding day.
The honeymoon period of our relationship was when I was after her without even knowing her well. I knew nothing about her, but was ready to die to get close to her. I liked her then more than I do now. I was so much into her that I could do anything to make her mine. Then, I would have no second thought about spending my life with her, absolutely not. Her beauty had blinded me and I didn’t even try to know her better. I thought that a girl in such a beautiful body must be beautiful inside also.
I remember the day when I first talked to her. It was at one of my friend's sister's wedding party where I first saw her and dared to approach her. I introduced myself, asked her name and I didn’t forget to say she looked absolutely pretty. She ran her eyes from my head to my toes in scorn. I was in a pair of jeans at a wedding party because my only suit was getting tighter as I had gained some weight. “This guy who can’t even dress appropriately is after me?” I guessed what she must had thought about me; I knew she wasn’t impressed at all. She smiled at me, told her name and said a few words to get back to her fancy dressed friends again. I could hear girls whispering followed by gigglings as I was leaving the table.
Though her reaction to my first approach discouraged me, I added her in my Facebook anyways. Then we started chatting in MSN. The first few days, I had to initiate the conversation, every time. I got a lot of BRBs when we chatted. The BRBs were her way to get away from me and I would have to write again to get her attention, sometimes she didn’t get back at all. But after some time, she got fond of my humor and started giving me more time. In a course of time, I didn’t have to start the conversation, she did.
One day I collected the courage to ask if she would like to have a dinner with me, and beyond my expectation she said she could manage to meet me that weekend. The day came and I dressed myself up as well as I could. We met at a Indian restaurant, she looked gorgeous as usual. Damn! She knew how to look good. We sat on a booth for two and I ordered the usual Chicken Tikka Masala and she got her favorite Chicken Coconut Korma. I still have vivid memory of the setting in the Indian restaurant, they were playing soft Hindi Gazals and the dim light swaying above us made it very romantic. We talked a lot that evening and I was glad that I was able to make her laugh the whole time. She stared and smiled at me after each chuckle. Though she hesitated, I paid for both of us to make it look like a formal date. Since then, we started meeting frequently. And then she called me to know if I could make it to dinners with her.
Time passed by and she started visiting me often at my place and I also went to hers. We used to watch Youtube videos together, laugh at the funny Nepali rappers and listened to the songs we both liked. She didn't like Nepali Adhunik songs but I converted her to an admirer of Narayan Gopal, as a trade-off I had to listen to the cheesy Hindi songs with her. She never liked me watching football or basketball, because she couldn’t get my full attention when I was watching the games and she never liked watching them. She wanted me to stop watching the sports channel while she was with me. But I came up with a better idea, I taught her the rules of football, it took her a while to grasp but she too started watching them. She picked the teams I liked and we used to cheer for our team. As she got used to watching the games, she screamed after every touchdown, she used to hug me after every interception that our team made. She used to jump after every game our teams won. She added a girly touch to my game watching experience.
She went to the gym along with me. She never did anything for herself in the gym, she spotted me when I was doing weights, and she pretended to run on the treadmill when I was doing cardio exercises. She ran funny with her back bent. She used to laugh at me when I was soaked in sweat. She poured the water from her water bottle on her head to make her look tired and sweaty like me. She used to flex her bicep with me and claimed she had a bigger one.
Love makes a man poet. I wrote poems for her, she wrote poems for me. We compiled videos with our pictures and put romantic songs in them. Though we didn’t have anything specific to talk about we stayed up late chatting or on the phone. We didn’t formally go to bed saying “goodnight”, we didn’t know who of us fell asleep earlier. I guess we talked even when we were asleep. I still don’t remember the day when I first said I loved her, it just gradually became obvious.
Things didn’t always go happy-happy in our relationship. The road of our relationship ran on many rolling hills; there were many ups and downs. I was knowing her better and every time I discovered something new about her, I thought twice about it. Sometimes she acted so strange I felt like I didn’t know her at all. I know she also felt the same, but I figured that’s how you know a person inside out.
Once, we went to a mall, and she kept me waiting in my car. Though she had a car, when we went out together, I took mine. I was waiting for her, she said it was going to take her fifteen minutes, but she didn’t come out for an hour and wouldn’t pick my calls either. I wasn’t worried, but disappointed. Nothing could happen in the mall that could prevent her from calling me. She is not the daughter of a millionaire to get kidnapped like in movies. I was sure that she was trying the designer outfits that were new in the store. I got so pissed that I left the mall premises and headed home. I got her call fifteen minutes later. I picked up but she was making all kinds of excuses, and asked where I was parked. I found out that my guess was right and her excuse for not notifying me was that there was no phone signal in the outfit store. I knew she didn’t call me because I wouldn’t approve her trying those clothes and keep me waiting. I told her I already left and I hung up. She didn’t call me back.
After five minutes I called her back, she didn’t’ pick up. I call her again and again, the fifth time she picked up and said that she took a bus and didn’t need a ride back home. Her voice was almost inaudible because she was trying to hide the sobbing. I had to buy her a bouquet of flowers and take her to a dinner as a payback.
We cooked dinner together on weekends but we always argued on who would be the cook. I didn’t like the food I cooked while she didn’t like the food she cooked. So, we always wanted one another to cook. Finally, we settled the issue by cooking two different dishes. I ate most of what she cooked and she ate most of what I cooked.
I knew her family is wealthy in Kathmandu; her parents could support her financially. She could even pay her tuition with the money they sent from Nepal. I come from a middle class family; coming to the US is a big thing for me. I had to work to pay my school tuition, and in worse situations, I had to send some money back home. She sometimes bragged about her dad’s bank savings and real estate in Kathmandu. She never disrespected my family but her bragging usually irritated me. I knew her dad was in Bhansar and he was making fortune there. So, once I jokingly said, “K garnu? Aafna baule ghus khana janenan, dukha paiyo.” It hurt her so much that she didn't say a word, walked out of my room and went to her apartment, walking, because it was me who brought her to my place. I had to leave six voice messages to convince her that I was joking.
Though she told me a little about her past boyfriend and admirer, I didn’t ever probe into it. I am better off knowing little about her past. When we quarreled, she sometimes jokingly threatened to go back to her old boyfriend. She said he was too sweet but I take her for granted. To piss me off more, she used to call that guy. We were in the same phone plan so I could see who she called right away. She knew I looked at the call details whenever we were not in good terms.
Once, she wanted to move in with me, I told her that I wanted to continue staying with my friends. My family didn’t approve me staying with just a girl before marriage. My mom told me not to stay together with her by ourselves before we get married; I could not disrespect her advice. She made a fuss about it, she said I was making excuses and I didn’t love her. She was so frustrated that she called me names and left. She didn’t call me the whole day. That night I checked her phone calls, I saw that she talked to her ex-boyfriend for three hours. I couldn’t take it that time. I called her to say that we weren’t compatible; she said the same to me. I was so mad at her that I wanted go out with other girls just to show her that she was not the only one in this big world for me. I recalled the nepali proverb "Khutta bhaye pachhi Jutta Jatti ni Painchhan"
Then, I made a list of some single girls in my mind that I could date. Sandhya, she was such a loudmouth, I could never date her. Shishu, she was a beautiful girl but never had a boyfriend. No wonder why, she thought she was so pretty, no one was good enough for her. Her ego was so high that I don’t think even after marriage, she would let her husband touch her without her permission, I need a horny girl. Bidusi dated too many guys but was never together with any of them. She said guys went too far with her on the first or second date and she always had fights with the guys she dated; I thought she had a bipolar dysfunction. Kripaa was such a slut; she had too many serious boyfriends, that too in a month. Guys tagged her as a whore.I thought of a few more other girls but nobody seemed to be a good match for me. Damn! I couldn’t even think of a girl who I could go out with.
My friends knew well about our long relationship. They thought we made such a good couple and they blamed me for being such a jerk. They didn't stop talking about us; they yelled at me for letting her down, they tried everything to make me get back with her. Nothing worked and they gave up. I also wasn’t happy deep inside without with her. Though I bragged how being single was so fun, I knew I missed her. Though I pretended to be happy, I was down and my friends knew it.
My friends then planned to take me to a club to cheer me up. We entered the club and to my surprise, I found her with her friends drinking at the bar. I thought of ignoring her but I couldn’t; I spread my arms to give her a hug. Then I sat next to her and ordered a drink and we started with normal conversation. When we both were drunk, we starting probing each other about how “things” were working out on both of our sides. Though we started the conversation to let one another down, we got emotional. We both confessed how we missed each other and the next thing I know, she started crying and I had to break the ice by saying I loved her. We both blamed ourselves for being so hard on each other. We got back together again.
I don’t claim that I have always been very nice to her. Last year when I went to ANA, I partied all day long and drank all night. The environment wasn’t just an emotional or romantic kind; I took it as a boy’s time out. I didn’t call her for three days and when I got back, me not calling her was a bombshell. She blasted and she blasted as if I brought another girl with me from ANA. I had to take her to a weekend trip to make her happy.
I am very possessive and so is she. Whenever she said some guy approached her, I got jealous and insecure. She used to ask me a lot of questions when I talked about a girl. Once, one of my high school friends Swosti, came to a nearby town. I drove an hour and a half to go meet Swosti. I couldn’t contact her at the right time so I didn’t have time to tell her about my visit to Swosti. She found out through someone else. She didn’t speak to me that day. I had to make Swosti call her to convince her that it was nothing special, just an old friends’ gathering. She apologized afterward.
We both know about our idiosyncrasies and shortcomings. She knows I don’t close my mouth when I eat and sometimes I speak while I chew. My spoon hitting the plate makes a loud sound; I am used to eating with my hand. I tried, but I haven’t been able to change my eating habit. She is used to me looking at the price-tag of a shirt rather than the quality. I know she runs funny. She sometimes burps loud. She is not technically savvy and sometimes I have to teach her how to save or delete her voicemail. She makes me download the audio files off a Youtube video, though it is just a three step process, that she never wants to learn. I know she is high maintenance. We both realize we are not perfect but we have no doubt we complete each other.
I use a lot of sarcasm in my humor; I intentionally make myself look like a dumbass while making those jokes. Once, me, her and her friends were shopping in the mall, we were in Banana Republic. I looked at the price tag of the clothes before I chose them. I drew the price-tag out of a fancy shirt and said “I am not paying a hundred and fifty bucks for this piece of shit MADE IN CHINA. KHASA Product” All of her friends made a funny face as if I meant that my excuse for not buying the shirt was that it was a Chinese product. But she looked and at me and smiled. She knew I was joking and I actually meant I couldn’t afford it. I love her for getting used to my jokes.
When I proposed her, she didn’t think twice. Actually I can't say I proposed her, it was she who couldn’t wait to get married. I was willing to wait. One of the topics of our arguments was about when we were going to get married. She wanted it to be soon whereas I wanted to take our time. I wanted to focus on my career first, whereas she thought we could make our married life and our career go together. Ultimately I let her win, and here we are on our wedding day.
When I was a teenager, I believed that the most exciting thing about getting married must be the honeymoon and love making. I couldn’t wait to get married just for that. Yes, I am excited about the honeymoon and I am excited about making love. But then as a teenager, I didn’t think of the commitment and responsibilities that came with the wedding. I just visualized the honeymoon night that they showed in Hindi movies where the groom cannot wait to unveil the face of the bride from the “Ghumto”. Now I can see that wedding is more than honeymoon and sex; it’s about closing one part of life and opening another. Once I get through this door, there is no easy way to get back. Sex is just a byproduct of marriage. Commitment and responsibility is such a huge price to pay for sex, sex can be bought cheap on the streets. I am not a teenage boy anymore, I am not marrying her for sex but I am ready to pay this humongous price to spend my life with her.
I know even after we get married we are going to argue about when we are going to have the first baby. I know we are going to fight about how many kids we are going to have. I know we will turn our backs at each other in bed for not consenting in the naming of our babies. I know she is going to throw stuff at me for not buying those expensive collectibles. I know she won’t speak to me for days when I won’t buy the fancy house and try to save money for future. There are so many things that I can think of that we will fight about even after we get married.
But yes, we are getting married, I know she is not the perfect girl, but she is as perfect as anyone can get for me. Hell yeah, we made it, we are getting married. Both of our families are here for the wedding. It is so far the happiest day of my life.
Last edited: 23-Jun-09 09:53 AM
